Moonlight Kiss

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CHAPTER ONE

 Breaking Up is Hard to Do

 

“What?  Garret, please tell me you’re joking,” Addison put her fork down and stared across the table at her fiancé.  “You want to do a reality show about our marriage?  Really?  Why?”

“Why not?  My agent is working on a sweet deal.  With my rock star father and your finance guru mother we would have a built in audience.”  Garret gave Addison his megawatt smile and when that didn’t sway her he quickly followed up with the pretty please pout that always worked. 

Not this time.  Addison shook her head.  “I don’t want our life together to have an audience.”

“Addison…” Garret drew out her name and put his hand over hers.  “Would you at least give it some thought?”

Addison tilted her head to the side.  “Don’t you want to be known for something other than being Rick Ruleman’s son?” she asked gently.

Garret waited for the server to refill his water glass and then said, “Well, yeah and this show would make us both famous in our own right.”

“So we would simply be famous for being famous,” Addison answered flatly.  “That’s not really in our own right.”

Garret shrugged. 

“You know how hard I’ve tried to stay out of the public eye.  And seriously, you of all people know that it’s not easy being the child of a celebrity.  Remember that my mother’s fame came much later in my life.  I didn’t grow up being followed around by the paparazzi and I don’t think I’ll ever get used to the idea.  I’m not interested in having my life played out on the television screen.”  Leaning forward, Addison gave Garret a pleading look that he didn’t even seem to notice and her heart sank.  “Garret, please don’t ask this of me.”

“You’d be so good in front of the camera.  Addison, you’re so pretty and you have that, you know, sincere thing going on.   And look how good your mom is in front of the camera.”

Addison gestured to her long jet black hair and her chocolate brown eyes, all courtesy of her mother’s Native American heritage.  “I look like my mom, so people expect me to have the same personality as Melinda Monroe and to enjoy the spotlight, but I don’t.  Not one bit. I never told you this but I was asked to be her sidekick on Melinda Knows Money.  The producers wanted us to be a team.”  Her mother’s show was hard-hitting and funny, and she helped viewers straighten out their financial messes.  The difference between it and some other shows was that Addison’s mother wasn’t mean-spirited and she actually helped families improve their lives and get back on track.  Melinda Monroe boosted self esteem rather than exploiting people’s problems.

Garret’s jaw dropped and his mouth gaped open.  “And you turned it down?”

“Of course I did.”  Addison put a hand to her chest.  “Because it’s not me.  Garret, if you’re not true to yourself, you’re simply living a lie.”

“But you’re smart and have business degree.  You could have rocked it, Addison.”

     “Thanks for saying so, but you know I’m more reserved like my dad.  That’s why I work at his art gallery.”  Garret couldn’t be surprised that she wouldn’t want to be on TV and the lack of compassion in his eyes hurt her to the core. 

“Yeah, but don’t you see?”  Garret smiled.  “We’re the same way as your mom and dad!  I’m outgoing and you keep me in check.  That’s why we would be so damned entertaining.  Addison, all you would have to be is your beautiful, wonderful self and rake in the money.  Pretty easy, huh?”

“I don’t want to do a reality show.”  She hoped her firm tone would set him straight and he would drop this nonsense.

“You won’t do this for me?”  Garret gave her his very best puppy dog look and then smiled oh so slowly.  “Come on, what do you have to lose?”

“What’s left of my privacy for starters.”  Addison sighed.  “But most of all my dignity.”  Her pointed look had him shifting in his chair.  Addison felt a sense of dread.

“Well would you just look at you way up there on your high horse.”  Garret scooted closer and leaned forward.  The puppy dog expression vanished.  “For someone who supposedly values her privacy you sure do like dating celebrities.  It was splashed all over the place when Aiden Anderson cheated on you with his co-star and broke off your first engagement.”

“How lovely for you to bring that up.” Addison felt a hot flash of anger.  “Aiden was the son of a family friend and I knew him most of my life… way before he became a famous actor.  And I met you at a party at my parent’s house. I don’t go chasing after celebrities, Garret.” 

She wanted to add that Garret wasn’t actually a celebrity, only the son of one, but she didn’t see the point in being mean especially when Garret’s attempt at his own music career was a crushing failure.  The critics were harsh and Garret took it hard.  One of the reasons Addison fell for him was his vulnerable side that most people never witnessed.  She knew all too well that it wasn’t easy being the child of someone in the spotlight and she thought it was part of their common bond.  Apparently Garret had other aspirations that he had kept pretty well hidden until now. “That was a really nasty thing to say.”

He shrugged again.  “It’s the circles we run in, Addison.”

“So if you can’t beat ‘em, join ‘em?”

“And make a shit-ton of money at the same time.”

“But we talked about how it sucks to be followed around just because of who our parents are.  The paparazzi are just waiting for us to do something stupid so they can take pictures.  Garret, my breakup with Aiden was difficult enough without having it played out in the media.  Most of what was reported was false, anyway.  It really sucked.”

 “Come on, Addison!”  Garret pleaded, shoving his long bangs out of his eyes.  He had an artfully messy haircut that required lots of product. “Why are you being so stubborn?” he asked tightly.  When he glanced down at Addison’s engagement ring and sighed she felt a jolt of alarm.

“Garret…”  Addison leaned forward and continued softly so other diners wouldn’t hear, “Did you ask me to marry you because you wanted to do this show?”

“Of course not!” Garret sputtered hotly but when he glanced down and started toying with the straw poking out of his drink Addison wondered if she had guessed correctly. 

“Really?  Because that’s what this feels like.”  Addison looked at him expectantly and waited for the profession of love that never came.  Her heart sank.  “Oh boy.”  Addison closed her eyes and inhaled a sharp breath.  She was torn between feeling sorry for him and tossing ice water in his handsome face.  She glanced at her water glass and her fingers twitched. “Wow… I was right wasn’t I?  You might as well come clean.”

“No, baby, you’ve got it all wrong,” Garret insisted in that soulful, charming voice that had sucked her in from the first time they met.  He followed it up with a wounded look.

Addison stared across the table at him.  She searched his face and looked into his blue eyes, wanting so badly to believe him.  But the lack of love she saw in his expression convinced her. Her heart sank. “No, I think I’ve got it totally right.”

Addison tossed her napkin on the table and then stood up.

“Where are you going?”  Garret’s eyes widened as if he couldn’t believe how fast this was going south and he actually followed her through the restaurant and out the door. Addison was so glad that she had driven to meet him for lunch and hurried toward the parking lot while frantically fishing her keys out of her purse.  

“Addison!”

She kept on walking until she spotted her red Mustang convertible. The muscle car made her feel just a little bit bad-ass and she picked up her pace.

“Wait… please.”  Garret’s gentle pleading tone caused a little spark of hope to blossom in her chest.  Maybe he’d tell her that the show meant nothing and that she meant everything. That this was an insane idea and that he’d squash it.

 Holding her breath, she slowly turned to face him.

 “Would you at least sleep on it?  We can revisit this tomorrow after you’ve had the chance to think it over.”

 Addison let out the held breath and her shoulders slumped.  “There’s nothing to think about.  I won’t do it, Garret.  I’m sorry but it’s just not in me to make a fool of myself in front of a big audience.”

“Who cares?  We’d laugh all the way to the bank.”

“There’s not enough money in the world.”

A muscle jumped in his jaw.  “Well then, I guess we’re through,” Garret announced as if this was his ace in the hole that would surely win her over.

It didn’t.

“If this show means more to you than me then I guess so,” she conceded, giving him one last chance to turn this thing around but only got a stubborn lift of his chin. 

“I guess you just answered my question.”  With shaking fingers Addison tugged the engagement ring off. Oh how she wished she were a bit tougher like her mother because she was having trouble holding her emotions in check.  “Then here.”  Sunlight glinted off of the diamond solitaire when she thrust it toward him.

Garret swallowed hard and his eyes widened as if he couldn’t believe that he’d called her bluff and it blew up in his face.  He glanced at the ring and then back at her. “Addison, let’s talk about this. We can’t call off the wedding!  Everything has been ordered.  Invitations sent out.”  He looked at her in a bit of a panic.  “We… we had that couples shower.  What the hell will people think?”

“That’s a really poor reason for getting married.  You have to care,” she tried to sound angry but her voice shook.

“I… I care!” His raised voice negated the sentiment.

“Do you love me?” Addison asked quietly.

“Of course I do!” Garret protested loudly but the word love never touched his lips.

“Then say it… and not in your offhand cutesy way like you always do but like you mean it.  Like I mean the world to you like I thought I did.”  She patted her chest.  “Like I’m more important to you than some silly show.”

“If you loved me you’d do the show,” Garret tossed back at her.

Addison looked at him and had a sudden moment of clarity.  “You have a point.”

“See…” Garret said but his sudden smile faltered when she remained silent.  “Wait, what are you saying?  That… that you don’t love me?”

Addison gave him a sad shake of her head.  “You’re right, Garret.  If I loved you the way I should I might consider doing this with you.  On the other hand, if you loved me the way you should, you would never ask me to do something I would hate doing.  It’s pretty simple.  We’re not meant for each other after all.”

“No, wait, Addison, seriously, I’ve handled this all wrong!” Garret shoved his fingers through his no longer carefully styled hair once more.  He’d be appalled if he knew it was standing up on end.  But she finally saw real sorrow in his eyes.  “I’m sorry.  I was being an ass because I wasn’t getting my way.”

“Yeah, you were.”  Addison nodded her agreement.  “And you’re not usually like that. Or maybe I haven’t seen it because I always agree with whatever you want to do.  But Garret, this just shows that we want way different things out of life.”  She reached out and put a hand on his forearm.  “We had such fun together.  You made me laugh and enjoy so many things I would never have tried.”  She smiled softly… sadly.

“We can still do that,” Garret said in a pleading tone. “You know, just with cameras,” he added with a little wince.

Addison looked down at her ruby red toenails peeking through the top of her black sandals.  She swallowed hard and then looked back at Garret.  “Be honest, did you ask me to marry you just to be in the reality show?”

“No.”  Garret reached out and ran a fingertip down her cheek.  “I loved being with you, making you laugh, smile.  You made me feel good about myself even when I didn’t always deserve it.”  He shrugged and Addison saw raw emotion cloud his eyes.

“We’re both breathing down the neck of our thirties, Garret.  Maybe it’s time to grow up?”

“Eh… growing up is overrated,” he answered with another cocky shrug.  But Addison wasn’t really fooled.  “Just look at my dad, still rockin’ long hair and leather.  I guess the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree and all that crap.”  His nonchalant tone didn’t match the rather haunted look in his eyes.  “My mother called it something…”

“The Peter Pan syndrome?”

“Yeah… that.”

Addison hitched her purse strap higher on her shoulder. “You know Garret, maybe your father wishes he’d been around more when you were growing up.  Maybe he’d still be married to your mom.  Being a rock star might not be all that it’s cracked up to be either.”

“Yeah right, said no one ever.”  Garret chuckled but it sounded a bit forced.  “Trust me, my dad loves his life,” he added with a touch of bitterness.  But then he sighed.  “Damn, so, you’re really breaking up with me?  Calling the wedding off? For real?”

“For real.”

He remained silent for a moment.  “So what do you want out of life?” Garret finally asked in a rare serious moment.  And she had to wonder if he was asking himself the same question. 

“Oh, I don’t know.”  Addison sighed.  “Undying, everlasting, all consuming, crazy love.  Is that asking too much?”  Her small laugh ended with a slight hitch.

“Does that really exist?”

“I’m not sure.”  She toyed with the heart charm on her keychain. “But I want to find out.  Don’t you?”   

Garret shrugged but for once seemed at a loss for words.  Addison supposed that he was as stunned as she was at the sudden very sad turn of events. 

“Goodbye, Garret.”  But when she turned to open her car door he put a hand on her shoulder. 

“Hey…”

Addison turned around.

“I’m going to really miss you.  This is my loss.  You deserve better,” he said and Addison could tell that he meant it.

“We both do.  I hope someday you’ll figure that out too.”

Garret looked down at the ground and then back at her.  “Then promise me one thing.”

“What?”

“That you won’t settle for anything less than undying, all consuming, everlasting, crazy love… go for it.  All or nothing at all. Don’t let my sorry ass turn you into a cynic.”

Addison chuckled softly.  “You know, Garret, there’s more to you than you let on or than you even realize.  I’ve seen it.  Like right now.”  She stepped forward and tapped on his chest.  “Just have the courage to dig deep and find it.”

With a sigh Garret leaned in and kissed her on the cheek.  “Like I said, give me much more credit that I deserve, but that’s the way you are,” he said.  “Now promise me.”

Addison blinked at him for a minute.  “I promise.”  She had to push the words past the emotion clogging her throat. 

“Good,” Garret said gruffly and stood there for a long moment as if knowing this might be the last time they spoke.

Addison reached up and cupped his chin.  “This was easier when I was super pissed and wanted to toss water in your face.”

“Right…”  He gave her a slight grin.  “You’d never do that.”

“No… probably not.”  She dropped her hand.  “But it crossed my mind.”

“You’re making this damned difficult,” Garret admitted with an unexpected tremor in his voice.  But he inhaled a deep breath and seemed to regain his composure.  “The thought of not having you in my life anymore just, well… sucks.”  He jammed his thumb over his shoulder.  “Can’t we just head back in there and start over?”

“No…” Addison shook her head.  “This is hard but I really think it’s for the best for both our sakes.  Goodbye, Garret.”

”Ahh, Addison… damn it.”   He opened his clenched fist and looked down at the ring before gazing back up at her. 

Addison reached over and gently folded his fingers upward and then over the ring.  She knew that he really did care about her, probably more than he actually realized until now.  But it wasn’t enough and they both knew it.  Without another word, he turned and walked away.  

Addison watched him depart and felt warm tears sliding down her face.  She felt an empty ache settle in her heart wondering why love had once again eluded her.  “Godspeed, Garret,” she whispered and then slid behind the wheel.  “And so the journey begins…”

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